Rationalize this

When I was 11, I rationalized my dad's death with the idea that people who go to Heaven early are needed as God's angels. I remember saying that to myself the day he died and the days that followed. It comforted me.

But as I've grown up, I've started to think that God must need a whole lot of angels. It seems that we all know at least one person -- for some us, we know several -- who've died young. In my case, cancer has gotten some family and friends.

And today, I learned that a friend, who had already been diagnosed with breast cancer, got another recent blow in her life. This time it's a malignant brain tumor. No one deserves to be sick, but she certainly doesn't. I'm pissed and worried for her. I've tried to process the news and rationalize it. But I can't.